Adoption Blog for Q&A

Do you think you'll ever truly recover from the emotional pain?

2008-03-07T20:58:00Z

I know that personally I have dealt with the emotional pain. It took a long time to truely get past it though. The first year was the hardest. You spend 9 months carrying this wonderful being inside you, you can't help but bond with your child. Going home with nothing to show after being pregnant is the hardest part. But, the knowledge I had, knowing that what I did was for his benefit, really helped me push through my own grief. I have peace with my decision.

Birth mothers who choose adoption go through a grieving process, which is a healthy way of dealing with loss. But most birth mothers also report finding peace in the knowledge that they did all in their power to provide the best life possible for their child. They find that the experience gives them the strength and confidence to face other challenges throughout their lives.

Do you think your child we resent you for placing him for adoption?

2008-03-07T20:57:00Z

It is impossible to predict how he will feel. I would like to think NO because of the relationship I have with his parents and he himself. When my son turned one, I wrote him a letter explaining my decision. I can only hope that he will be understanding. If not, than I will continue to try my hardest to show him how much I love him. His parents do the same, they tell him how much I love him and read him my letters and show him my pictures. I really don't think this will be an issue for me because our relationship is so open.

Do you have contact with you child and is that normal?

2008-03-07T20:56:00Z

Yes, I have contact with my son. Contact is usually worked out between the birth parent(s) and the adoptive couple before the child is born. Personally, we had a system and I was updated on a monthly basis for the first year with pictures, letters and emails. Sometimes I would receive video clips (which were the best). Now, we keep in touch with our blogs, email and an occasional phone call to catch up.

I know birth parents who have visits with their child on a monthly basis. I also know birth parents who don't want contact because they feel it would be too hard. When I first decided to place my son for adoption, I didn't want any contact, but eventually I changed my mind.

Every person is different. It is ultimately up to the birth parent(s) and the adoptive couple and what they work out between them.

Do you ever think about taking him back?

2008-03-07T20:55:00Z

No! And its not because I don't think about him everyday, because I do. I KNOW I did the right thing for my son. His life is blessed and will continue to be blessed because of my decision to place him for adoption.

Most people have the misconception that you can change your mind after you've placed a baby for adoption. This isn't true. Once the parent has signed their rights away that's it. It is VERY RARE that a court over rules custody rights of an adoptive couple once the birth parent has signed their rights away.

Do you think the adoptive parents love him as much as you do?

2008-03-07T20:54:00Z

I don't think its fair to compare the two. The love I have for my son cannot be measured and I know his parents feel the same. I know that they love him with all their hearts just as I do. He is very blessed to have some many who love him.

Do you feel like you abandoned your responsibility and took the “easy way out”?

2008-03-07T20:53:00Z

Acutally, I feel it is the exact opposite. I feel it took a greater sense of responsibility to make sure that, although I could provide for my child financially, he would need more than a roof over his head and food on the table. It definately wasn't an "easy way out" choice. It was the hardest, most heart wrenching experience I have ever had to endure, but peace soon came and I've always felt I did what was best for my situation. My son will have all I could give him personally and all I wanted for him, that I know I couldn't guarantee on my own.

How old were you when you placed your baby for adoption? What is the Age Range?

2008-03-07T20:11:00Z

I was 22 when I placed my son for adoption. I have found that most people are in their twenties, but I have met some who are older and already have grown children, and placed their baby for adoption. I have also met people who are in high school still. The ages vary.

www.adoptiontheotheroption.com

2008-02-19T20:58:00Z

The purpose of this blog is to educate people on the option of placing a baby for adoption. If you are considering placing your baby for adoption or just want to know more about the choice, please email your questions to administrator@adoptiontheotheroption.com or visit our website at www.adoptiontheotheroption.com to submit comments/questions on our "Contact Us" page.

Questions will be answered by persons who have had personal experience with placing a baby for adoption.